One day at the swimming pool, I got to talk to one of the
parents whose child was in Dana’s swim class.
She complimented how focused and motivated Dana was in swim lesson. Then she said that she was pushing her son
to pass the level testing. She said
that in response, he asked her “are you going to give me something if I pass
the test?” This reminds me what
happened when Dana took piano lesson….
Dana has been quite
in tune with music melody and rhythm.
When she was 6 years old, I signed her up for keyboard/piano lesson at
the community center. When it was time
for her to practice, it was a torture for both of us. She didn’t want to practice (for 10 minutes) and I didn’t have
the patience for it. So I told her, “If
you don’t want to practice, let’s finish these 8 sessions that I paid for, then
you can quit.” At the end of the 8
sessions, she quitted happily and I never mentioned it again. A year later, she came to me and said, “Mom,
I really want to learn how to draw like a real artist.” I signed her up at an art studio and she’s
been there since. She practices
sketching and color blending at home without me asking her to. Every time I picked her up from the art
class, she’s as happy as can be. On the
other hand, Kate, our 7-year-old, has been taking piano lesson for over a year
now. From this, my husband and I
learned that if our girls are interested in something, they will practice on
their own without being forced. This
has since become our philosophy regarding extracurricular activities: if our
child is interested in learning something, we will support her but she needs to
do her part. Otherwise, we can save the
money (and the nagging) for something else.
This is a lesson we parents have difficulty learning. So many of us want to relive our childhood through our children and give them the benefit of things we wish we'd had. Good advice, Te-Chen.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I have to remind myself sometimes not to impose my wish upon them.
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